Let's be frank...
Let's be frank: I'm so far out of your league, we're barely the same species.
This is my best offer: you agree to lock your cock in a chastity cage for the rest of your life. Why would I offer anything in return? I'm already doing more than you deserve by telling you what to do.
Ten years from now, when you're writhing in frustration and fantasizing about the time I talked to you, you'll thank me.